Saturday, January 15, 2005

so, so you think you can tell...

how can you complain when you're sleeping with half the town
i never slept around
if we're all so tragic, if i'm slowly killing you,
then where did this knife in my back come from?
you were stabbing me, you were KLLING ME weren't you?
lies of love, obsession going overboard.
INFATUATION IS NOT LOVE. LUST. WITH LUST THERE IS NO LOVEBUT THE LOVE FOR THE IDEA OF SEXUAL ADVANCES.
Is that what you wanted?
Me to strut into your room,
nothing but a towel, wet tossed hair,
that look in my eyes [[when we've smoked way too much, god i'm so stoned]]
and tell you to take me and never fucking let go?
hopeless romantic.
hopeless as fuck.
well you fucked them. you fuck them all the time.
so don't pretend to be sleepy, i know where you're going.
downtown with a bump and some booze, find someone new to sleep next to.

Friday, January 14, 2005

I like The Killers, I don't care what anybody says...

coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
gotta gotta be down because I want it all
it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
it was only a kiss it was only a kiss
now I'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab
while he's having a smoke and she's taking the drag
now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick
[[[[[[[[[[[[and it's all in my head]]]]]]]]]]]]
but she's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[let me go]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
and I just can't look it's killing me and taking control....jealousy
turning saints into the sea, turning through sick lullaby
choking on your alibi, but it's just the price I pay
destiny is calling me open up my eager eyes
(oh god. this is how you felt, isn't it?)

Monday, January 10, 2005

Dont be emo

I don't like it when people think they're above,
and you can tell yet they act as if they're sincere.
I don't like when people call you,
to basically ask if they can hang out with someone else.
Or when I'm too much for someone?
Or when straight boys suddently don't like girls.
Too much is not enough.
Too much is not enough.

Your friends will like you more than they used to<3

Colorado or not?
I know that you have seperate feelings,
that aren't really that seperate at all.
I know you have ulterior motives,
I see right through you too, you know.
You're not the only clairvoyant one in the 'family'.
[familyfamilyfamilyfamilyfamilyfamily]
You know, in all senses you are a brother,
fighting off silly boys [which may actually be the right boy]
because you don't think they're good enough.
Not even acknowledging the ways that I might feel about them.
(The boys, that is.)
But the one thing unheroic, the one thing unlike family of you,
is that you want it all for yourself.
Your intentions are selfish and on a single, winding track,
as they have been for three years of our existence as friends.
What do you want from me?
What do you think of me?
Why don't you say what you really think of me?
Somehow I'm lucky that you've stuck around.
Except for the cold hard, brutal demeaning fact
that you only 'stuck around' for your own benefit.
But somehow you DESERVE it, right?
___Somehow you DESERVE the prize?
Well I have a heart, and blood racing through my veins,
I have a mind, and skin and thoughts and opinions.
One person is no prize.
And being with one person holds no price.
I just thought you ought to know.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Night falls beneath candle light...

cast____________from
shadows__________the
incense________corner
fragrance_______of the
______________room
Cloudy--------------senses
--------stale light----------
below-------------beneath

sonowithinkthaticouldfallbackinlovewithyouyesithink
thatwouldbegreatthatwouldbegrandexceptwhywouldy
ouwanttopierceyourownlipimeancomeonwouldthatrea
llymakeanythingbetterwouldthatreallytakethepainawa
ywouldyoureallyfeelmorecompletebecauseifsothendoit
holesinyourbodytearsonyoursheetsitsallthesameisntitw
elltherestearsonminetoonotbecauseofyouneccessarilyju
stbecauseofwhoiamorwhoimtryingnottobethelightsare
foggingonthiswinternight[winteronlyexistsifyouletitbe
ingthatitissixtyfivedegrees]ilovethatnooneseyeswillever
wanttofinishreadingthisduetothedifficultyourbrainssee
mtohavewithcomplexityaparentlyrunonsentensesespeci
allythoselackingpunctuationareuncalledforandextremel
yunorthidoxandthereforetabooandjustthethingidliketob
ringtoyounowlendmeyourearslendmeyourfearsiwanttokn
owwhatmakesyoutickiwanttoknowwhatmakesyourheartb
eatrapidinthedeadofnightwhenyoureallaloneinbedandtho
ughtsareracingthroughyourheadwhoisshewhoishewhatisit

A member of the working class...

BAM! How'd you like THAT!
<3 the working woman

Saturday, January 08, 2005

And if we carry on this way, things are better if I stay...

Friday, January 07, 2005

No bombs dropped yet...

but the day is young.
but the day is young.

Don't want to hurt you, Cory.
Don't want to hurt you anymore.
(sorry--got off focus--stick to pronouns)
YOU: I need for you to be happy, you see.
YOU: I want you to wake in the day and be glad to be alive.
YOU: I don't ever want another tear shed on my behalf.

Oh yeah, and I'm waiting for a phone call that I won't receive.
And I will never tell another lie again...
[for the sake] [for the sake of what's left in you.]

Thursday, January 06, 2005

In the middle of a gunfight, in the center of a resteraunt...

now, but I can't and I don't know how
we're just human as god had made us
WELL I CAN'T WELL I CAN'T
Too MUCH, too LATER
and just not enough of us
Paying more for your dying wish
I kiss your lips again

I <3 mychemicalromance

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

oh my god
______you're my chemical romance
oh my god
______i'm lost in translation
oh my god
______i want my eternal sunshine
oh my god
______or a spotless mind
OH MY GOD
HELENA?
What a great song, wasn't listening to the lyrics
you knew, you knew the whole fucking time.
"DONT CALL, NO CONTACT"
OH MY GOD
this is so hard.
DONT CALL
DONT CALL

DONT CALL
please call
DONT CALL
DONT CALL
DONT CALL NO CONTACT

Helena
Long ago, Just like the hearse you died to get in again
We are so far from you
Burning on just like a match you start to incinerate
The lives of everyone you knew
And what's the worst to take, from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like a blade you stake, Well I've been holding on tonight
What's the worst that I could say? Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight
Came a time when every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take, from every heart you break
And like a blade you stake Well I've been holding on tonight
What's the worst that I could say? Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight So long and goodnight
Can you hear me? Are you near me?
Do we deserve to leave the earth?
Do we learn When both our cars collide?
What's the worst that I could say? Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight So long and goodnight
[i was so stupid.]

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

You're never coming home, never coming home...

[and you're not]
[and you, i won't let you]
"don't call. no contact"the nice boy tells me
he's just the nicest boy and he looks after me.
he and she and the other he they're all i've got there
[back home where there is no home.]
[home where there is none.]
i'm sorry i let you down.
i'm sorry you let me down [over and over and over we do]
"don't call. no contact"
i know this because it's burned there.
there in the tunnel where no one can see but you and me.
we know where it is and when it was done and how long ago.
i just wanted you to know kade that we're the best of friends.

EVERYTHING YOU GAVE ME
EVERY WRITTEN WORD TO YOU
TUCKED AWAY IN PLASTIC BAGGAGE
OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF LIES
OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF LIES
OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF LIES
you're out of sight and i'm out of lies.
is that better? if i explain every word.
about my feelings toward you and the things that will hurt?
i'm not looking for a disguise.
you don't have to look for more lies.
[THEY WON'T BE THERE.
THEY COULDN'T STICK AROUND]
just like you, hey, yeah you're the one, aren't you?
prancing around on your high-horse,
don't you know they will SHOOT YOU DOWN.
and it won't be no suicide, no not this time,
cold-blooded murder will reflect in your eyes.
and that's when you'll see,
[even though i deserve it, even though i deserve it]
that you shouldn't of hurt me.




(color-coded for your convenience.)

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

"I love my mommy 'cause she FUCKED MY DAD!"

[I love MSI]
Because they seem to have perspective
in this world even when I am very lost.
Lost but this time I am the only one who can find myself now.
So, about that FLOYD POSTER,
remember, you ripped it?
Is that like I ripped your heart?
You're getting so good at symbolism and poetic jibber.
Welcome to the club: Dead Poets Anonymous.
Glad you could join us---NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT.
I wish you were a sappy little boy again.
AND YOU WILL BE AND YOU WILL BE.
Some girl will make you so much happier than me.
::my little brother is trying out his new drums::
hey Zach, remember when you said you'd teach me?
Yeah, we had all kinds of plans. I guess we still do.
I WISH YOU KNEW I WISH YOU FUCKING KNEW.
AND YOU..yes I will always only refer to you as YOU
DO you deserve to be addressed so proper as the name they gave YOU
3 hour phone calls and =not saying it's right=
it just hurts--like it should-- KARMA POLICE [arest meeee]
SHE CUTS, YOU BLEED, SCARS FADE

Monday, January 03, 2005

HAfHAHuAHAHAcHAHkAHA

OF COURSE
HOW COULD I BE SO ..WHAT'S THE WORD
[NAIVE? DESERVING? STUPID!]
OF COURSE HE HAS AN ATTRACTION FOR HER
OF COURSE HE WOULD LIKE MY SISTER
_________________________FAMILY!
AND I'M NOT OFFENDED
JUST MORBID AND ILL AND SCARED AND SUPRISED.
I MEAN --HER-- then again
I MEAN --HIM--
his brother
my sister
so deserving
such liars, such deceit.
never happen never happen never happen
please, never let this happen again.

Is this the way a toy feels when it's battery's run dry?

The sad thing is--I believe it.
You threw away pink posters and all that love I wrote you.
Hundreds of words lost in the garbage.
That wasn't garbage, little boy, that was true.
[I did that for you.]

--i'll finish this later--

Sunday, January 02, 2005

AND YOU
God damn you.
Lying to poor, weak little girls.
Trying to make them your own
and you're such a wretched boy.
Don't LIE TO ME.
Exactly the boy you used to be.
I know you I know you I know this what you're doing.
You're faking, right? You're spinning the bottle, you're throwing the dice.
You don't have to pretend to be nice.
Friendships are blooming and girls stay at home.
With your right suspicions and faults all my own.
I'm sorry I broke >>you<<
But YOU, you're a piece.
I can't stand the thought of you and the things you said.
Lying awake, 3:30 in bed.
YOU TOLD even though you wouldn't. you wouldn't.
Lie to cover your OWN ASS.
Well it's still simply showing,
you're still such a mess,
and he'll know it, he'll know who you're trying to imp[und]ress.

What the hell does it take to say I bro____ke him?
Why did admitting take so long--lied to myself...
overandoveroverandoveroverandoveroverandover.
Why did I faulter? Why did I walk from the path I had?
Why is he crying?
Heroin(e) dreams, late, nightly lies.
You were'nt going to bed, dear, neither was I.
Not go to your funeral, [YOUMADEMEPROMISE]
_________________[YOUMADEMEPROMISEYOUTHAT]
Floosies get nowhere, when it rains YOU GET FUCKED.
[i mean it pours, it pours]
I'M FUCKING SORRY I STRAYED FROM YOU.
I'M SO FUCKING EASILY MANIPULATED.
Oh, and how I manipulate you.
All wrapped up in blankets, that you lie in every night
you wouldn't want me to miss that chance, would you? would you?
Of course not. The thing is you KNEW.
You knew, so why did you play my little game?
If it's such a game to me why am I so ashamed?
It's the last night of break,
and we're brea___king, we're all brea___king.
And lying and betraying.
Always straying from those who LOVE ME[YOULOVEME].
But assholes and poetry get me everytime,
especially outloud, especially they rhyme.
Lie to me, and don't care that I know [I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW]
Heroin(e) dreams, and late, nightly lies.
Heroin(e) dreams, and late, nightly lies.
Heroin(e) dreams, and late, nightly lies.
Heroin(e) dreams and late night goodbyes.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Lost in Translation

"sucking on my titties like you wanted me,
calling me all the time like blondie
check out my chrissy behind, it's fine all of the time"

PS: if you have not heard this song, go now and watch "Lost in Translation".
Yay for fatty japanese strippers!

OH. And the trip was a BLAST.
Secret songs at the top of our lungs..
"Where were you while we were getting high?"